Not Enough (It Never Would Be)
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: It was her fault. He didn't set out to be this way. Rated for murder, insanity, and language.


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.**

 **Written for Hogwarts Assignment 8;** Ghost Hunting, Task 7 - Write about someone preying on someone more vulnerable than them.

 **Word Count** \- 1390

 _Beta'd by Amber_

 **Warning** for murder and insanity.

* * *

 **Not Enough (It Never Would Be)**

* * *

He didn't set out to be this way.

It was _her_ fault.

She'd ruined him.

…

The Muggle bar was heaving, people dancing front to back, crammed together on the too small dance floor. He weaved his way through them to the bar, fighting against elbows and drunken people to get the bartender's attention.

He ordered himself a whisky, and then a bag of crisps because he was starving and even he knew that drinking on a completely empty stomach was a terrible idea.

He kept himself in a corner, eyeing the crowd speculatively. He knew he could take any number of these women home with him. He could see the way they looked at him across the room, sluts that they were.

He took in the barely there clothes they wore, the faces caked in makeup, and he felt disgust welling up in him.

 _She_ never wore makeup. _She_ hadn't needed it. _She_ was naturally beautiful.

None of these sluts were worthy of licking her boots.

…

She played with his heart.

She played with his mind.

She made him want her, and then she left him without a backward glance.

…

They were in an alley. He had a woman against a wall, her legs wrapped around his waist. She hadn't even wanted to go back to his flat.

Slut.

"I could make you do anything I wanted," he told her, sneering at what he supposed was her seductive smile. It made her look _constipated_. "I could make you beg for mercy, or scream in pleasure."

She huffed. "Whatever it is you're going to do, could you _get on with it._ You're killing my buzz."

"I'm magical," he told her, shifting his grip on her thigh. "And you're not worthy of me."

"Abraca-fuck-you then," she muttered, wiggling against him to get him to put her down.

"You're not scared?" he asked, his hands stilling.

She laughed at him, his face twisting horribly. "I've faced pumpkins scarier than you." She wiggled harder, her knee getting dangerously close to his groin.

He ignored her movement and placed his hand against her windpipe. "Are you sure about that? Beg me, whore. Beg for your life."

…

The power of holding their very lives in his hands was addictive.

A drug that he couldn't get enough of.

A balance of who lived and who died, all for him to decide.

He thought that since he couldn't get his fix of _her…_ he could have this.

Just until she saw sense.

…

Another Muggle bar, another whore. He was admittedly getting bored. None, since the first, had felt quite so… good.

The rush was getting lesser and lesser with every body that lay at his feet. There was just no challenge in it.

He was under no illusions. He knew he looked good. He could tempt them to him without effort. It wasn't _worth it._

Where was the challenge in the women in these bars? What were they worth? Who cared that they weren't around anymore?

Nothing and nobody.

He took three lives in one night and he felt nothing.

The need for the familiar rush was strong in his veins and he needed to fulfill it before it sent him completely crazy.

…

He couldn't bring himself to gain pleasure from others.

So he hurt them.

He hurt them, because she hurt him, and he couldn't… he couldn't hurt her.

…

The Three Broomsticks brought back memories good and bad. Bad, because he'd seen _her_ in here with another, good, because he'd seen her at all.

A singles night had brought out many familiar faces. He nodded and smiled and charmed and faked.

He caught the attention of a girl he vaguely remembered. Romilda Vane. She'd been obsessed with Potter, he recalled. He wanted to know how devastated she'd been when the Chosen One had come out as gay and happily engaged.

He didn't ask.

She remembered him as a bad boy, he manipulated her into seeing him as a gentleman.

He killed her in the alley, as little a challenge as the Muggles before them.

He was disappointed. He'd expected more.

…

He saw her in Diagon Alley occasionally.

Every time, it took his breath away.

Now, in his mind, he saw her with a blood trail from her plump lips, and his hand imprinted in her neck.

She'd never been more beautiful.

…

The Leaky Cauldron offered him more.

She was beautiful. Her red hair cascaded down her back, and her smile lit up the room. He remembered her too.

Ginny Weasley.

A spitfire of a girl, she could have easily taken his attention if it hadn't been irrevocably stolen before he'd seen her.

He talked to her. They sat at the bar for hours. She seemed… different to the others. When he offered to walk her home, she'd rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm not just one of your many toys," she'd jested, though he could read the seriousness in her eyes.

Finally, a challenge. His heart beat faster, and he nodded his head.

"Then let me take you for dinner? I'll pick you up on Friday at eight."

…

He almost forgot about her.

He liked Ginny.

And then she was there, and he was there, and she _smiled at him._

His heart fell again and he was lost.

…

He blinked at the woman walking past him. She looked familiar. Or… no, it was the sweater. Lime green. He'd watched the last breath of a woman wearing that same sweater.

It knocked him off balance for a moment, and Ginny rested her hand on his arm.

"Cormac, are you alright?"

He nodded. "I'm fine, sweetheart. Carry on."

He barely listened as she told him of her colleagues, the petty ongoing battles between her and her brothers, and about her last night out with friends.

He nodded in all the right places, and prompted her on, but he just _didn't care._ He'd foolishly tried to convince himself that he could do this but…

He knew in his heart that she wasn't for him.

But she _was_ his now.

And that meant he had to get rid of her.

…

He knew now, what he needed.

He just needed time… he needed to be strategic…

He needed to get rid of his obstacles.

…

It was raining. He hated rain, the noise against the window drove him mad. Ginny loved it. She sat in the window seat in his flat, her eyes on the street outside.

"Come sit with me," she requested quietly, holding her hand out to him.

He took her hand. He allowed her to pull him close. He sat behind her and wrapped her up in his arms, hugging her close.

She wasn't like the others. She deserved better.

He _did_ like her after all.

When it was over, he lay her down gently with her head on a pillow, her red hair around her like a fiery halo.

For the first time, he felt sorrow at what he'd done.

…

It was time.

She would be his.

One way or another, it was time to _own_ her.

The way he always should have.

…

"Cormac? What are you doing here? I didn't expect… after Ginny…" Hermione trailed off, looking uncertain.

"I miss her," he said, nearing Hermione. He could smell the floral notes in her perfume he was so close. "She died far too early."

Hermione nodded. "I can't imagine how you must feel. The two of you were… it was sweet."

"Fluffy, I believe Ginny called us."

He watched her lips tilt up. "That sounds like Ginny," she muttered. She blinked away her thoughts and met his eyes. "Did you need something?"

"I have some of Ginny's things still at my flat. I was hoping you could come and pick them up?"

"Me? I would have thought… Ron or… Molly or…"

Cormac sighed sadly. "I just thought… since I knew you more before… I don't really know them and -"

"Of course I'll come and get them, Cormac," Hermione said, placing her hand on his arm. "After work tonight?"

He nodded. "That would be great, thank you."

…

He thought…

It wasn't…

He stared down at her corpse, brushing the hair from her face.

It wasn't enough.

He was beginning to realise, it never would be.

* * *

 **Also Written for;**

Character Appreciation - 30. Bad Boy

Disney - S2. Shiny - Someone pretending to be something they're not.

Lizzy's loft - 2. Lime Green

Book Club - Kenya - Dancing / Bag of Crisps / Petty

Showtime - 1. Balance

Amber's Attic - 1. Faking something

Lyric Alley - 2. I'm not just one of your many toys

Ami's Audio - 8. "Abraca-fuck-you."

Sophie's Shelf - 5. Someone or something dangerous

Emy's Emporium - 6. Someone with a manipulative personality

Build A Zoo - Panda Enclosure - Fluffy / Hugging / Pillow

Fantastic Beasts - 37. Inferi - Corpse / 23. Botswana - Raining

Marauders Map - 108. Sweater / 121. Cormac McLaggen

Princess Day - 8. Mulan - Strategic

Autumn Prompt - "I've faced pumpkins more scarier than you."

Audrey's Desserts - Cake 4 - Never being satisfied.


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